• CLASP – Walking Out of Darkness

    I’m going to Walk Out of Darkness on 16th May 2015 in memory of Karla Mihok. If you’d like to donate and sponsor me (and the hubby, who is joining!) please click here.

    I’ve been wanting to write this since it happened, but it’s been difficult for me to pull my thoughts together until now, even nine months later it’s difficult. I think it’s important to share experiences around mental health and suicide, not least of all because there may be someone who thinks they are alone, or is going through a similar situation and whatever you are going through, where ever you are please know YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

    TRIGGER WARNING: If reading about loss, suicide or mental illness is triggering in any way to you, please do not continue.

    Remembering Karla Mihok

    Read the rest of this entry »

  • Blinds, beds, and books, oh my!

    Friday marked 4 weeks in the new abode! It went quick didn’t it?

    Today marks the day we get the last of the big stuff done – blinds fitted and our new bed delivered! It’s weird how much a lack of blinds or any window treatments can affect how settled you feel. I’m already feeling better about things now that there are blinds on the windows.

    I mean look at these in the kitchen, they are pretty cool! And I LOVE the colour!!


    And we are finally able to use our master bedroom! It’s just been empty since we moved in… very unsettling if you ask me. But the new bed is epic and I’m excited to sleep in it tonight. I have to literally CLIMB into the bed it’s that high. I love it.


    I get a 4 day weekend this weekend, what?! After spending the day in London Friday, we’ll be heading to IKEA to purchase bookcases (YAY!!!!!!) and a dressing table (DOUBLE YAY!!!!!!!). I’ll be geeking out all bank holiday weekend after that – unpacking books and make up.

    You have no idea how happy that makes me! I can’t wait to share photos of the finished projects!

  • Error: Motivation not found

    Moving is stressful, I know this. I didn’t expect this time to be quite as stressful as it has been, though. It’s been almost as bad as my move from the US to the UK. The differences are marginal at best. The last one, into our rental, was easy peasy. I guess I expected the same this time around.

    My body is only just recovering from the stress a month later. The new commute and routine is taking me a while longer to get used to than I had expected. An hour commute each way is pretty tiring, no matter how much you like to drive.

    My motivation to do anything other than spend way too much money is all but completely gone. I’m happy taking walks when we manage to push ourselves out the door to do it, but otherwise? Not much going on.

    I need a push, a prod, someone/thing to hold me accountable and get me going. I’ve been following The Body Coach and getting inspired. But I know I need to be held accountable right now. I know I could do it myself if I put the effort in to plan properly, but I just don’t have the energy for that. I need to be told just what to do, eat, etc for a while. So I signed up today! If I can just follow a plan then I don’t have to think so much and it will be easier for me to push past this wall. And well, if I get even some of the amazing results that the transformations show… I’ll be a happy chica.

    Knowing I’ve paid for it will help hold me accountable, I’m not about to waste money when I could be spending it on stuff for the house. So I’ve signed up and submitted my questionnaire! I am feeling apprehensive and excited to find out what the plan exactly will entail, but mostly looking forward to gaining a new perspective and doing something good for myself. I have to admit, taking the photos tonight I wasn’t that happy. Then Hubby and I went for a long walk and when we got back I wasn’t hungry so didn’t eat loads and I feel like that little step of going for a walk and not eating until I’m stuffed is a great thing.

    I’m also attending Be:Fit London on Friday with the bestie. It looks like it will be great motivation and we’ll get lots of inspiration – and a massage! – to lift our spirits and get us revved up! <3

    With life being turned around lately it will be nice to have something to ground  me for a few months and focus my energy on – other than decorating the house of course!

  • 10 years on…


    Today marks 10 years since I left the US to live in the UK. A whole decade. Just under a third of my life.


    I’ve been thinking about it a lot, what the last 10 years has been for me, and I’m still undecided. The problem is that it’s been so many things.

    I was 25 when I left everything I’d known and was comfortable with behind for a new life in a new country with the man I loved. A young woman only just finding her own way taking a huge leap of faith. As someone uncomfortable around new people (with few exceptions – now my closest and dearest friends), suffering from depression, horribly shy and introverted moving can be daunting. Moving to a whole new country 3,000 miles away across an ocean? Sheesh. But I don’t do things by halves.

    2005 was a stressful year to say the least. Moving to a new country, getting married, and having to find a new job all in the space of a few months! Most of life’s most stressful events all packed into one massive punch. There was a brief time between the wedding and finding a job when, after weeks of applying for positions and getting absolutely nowhere, I felt defeated. I remember sitting in the pub for tea one night with Hubby nearly in tears saying I thought I wanted to go back home. It was all a terrible mistake moving here.

    He talked me down, he had a lot of experience with that, and we agreed to give it five years. If I felt the same way then we would discuss the possibility of moving to the US.

    Five years later I couldn’t imagine moving back to the US. This was my home now. No mistake had been made after all.

    The first five years were full of ups and downs, things were difficult for me to start with. The first year in a new place is always the toughest. I still get nostalgic for Virginia Beach every September and I don’t get to see the ocean as much as I’d like. (I hope now that we are marginally closer to the coast it will be more regular.)

    Five years on again, we’ve moved house twice in the last year and are finally settling into our new home. This is the beginning of the next phase for me – for us – and I am really excited to see where it leads. I’m most definitely not the same person I was a decade ago. I’d wager not many people are the same person at 35 as they were at 25 or even at 30. It’s just growing up.

    Am I where I thought I would be back then, now? No. That doesn’t mean it’s wrong. It’s life. It leads you down a path and you end up somewhere not entirely expected sometimes. That is the beauty of living – every day is a gift and surprise.

    I can’t wait to see where the next decade takes me, here’s to ending up somewhere unexpectedly wonderful!

  • It’s been a long road

    Getting from there to here… (I have to apologise, we have been watching Star Trek: Enterprise and I always have the song stuck in my head! Fitting though…)Orchids

    Anywho! We’re in!!!! We got the keys, as planned, on 27th March 2015. We’ve spent nearly every day since then (about a week and a half now) unpacking, trying to find homes for things, buying stuff we needed, and having a lot of visitors.

    But we’re here. It doesn’t quite feel real yet for me. I think because I’m not in a normal work-cook-sleep-repeat routine. It’s felt like I’m on holiday somewhere and I’ll be going home before I go back to work… but this is my home!

    The house is big. It’s funny how I thought the rooms could be small when, now that we are in, there is plenty of room. Seeing people’s faces when they come in and see the house is great. We always save downstairs for last and they always have the same reaction – jaws drop and eyes widen. The kitchen and family room are pretty impressive on their own! It’ll be more impressive when we decide what to do with the garden and have it done. Looking out onto dirt… well it doesn’t have quite the same appeal as a nice garden has does it? ;)

    We’ve managed to purchase all of the big items we needed. The fridge/freezer was delivered 2 days after we got the keys. For the lounge we found a really comfy leather corner sofa that was on offer, not the colour we were hoping for but the price was right and included a matching chair and foot stool, that’s being delivered today (I’m way too old to be sitting on the floor these days, so I’m thankful I don’t have to any longer!). The bed for the master bedroom is coming at the end of the month (it’s so pretty!), and blinds will be fitted the day before the bed arrives! The blinds will finally add a touch of colour to most of the rooms and I’ll get to work on decorating ideas around what palettes I’d like to use for each area. Proper decorating is a long way off yet, so I have a lot of time to decide what I’d like to do.

    It’s always surprising how fast you can spend money during a move. I have a lot of projects I want to do, but in the meantime I’ll have to wait for funds. It gives me time to come up with ideas and plan what I’d like to do. I’m excited to get some of my ideas on paper! Now that I’m in and can visualise what I want rather than just imagine it in my head, it will be a lot easier to decide!

    But for now? I’ll be content with organising what I’ve got and learning how to take care of orchids!