Posted on | January 5, 2015 | No Comments
^^ That’s definitely my sentiment right now! And well, if New Year’s Day hadn’t been a hungover blur combined with cloudy skies and high winds, I would have dragged hubby to the shore for a bit so I could get a fix. Next time!
I digress before I’ve even started… Happy New Year!
I hope everyone had a lovely holiday (whatever you celebrate) and are looking forward to 2015 as much as I am.
2014 was a bit … not what I expected. But my fingers, toes, arms, legs, eyes and anything else I can possibly cross are all crossed for our new home being completed next month so we can finally move in! I’d rather not wait another month.
Things are starting to feel not quite so ‘on hold’ and that’s helping. I’m feeling pretty optimistic right now. Even when I can’t sleep and wake up at 5am in tears from work stress and scary things running through my mind, I’m optimistic and hopeful that things go well.
Think positive thoughts right?
This year is going to see a lot of changes!
I’ve already given up alcohol – NYE was the last drink I had for a while. I don’t drink a lot anyway, so that’s not a tough one.
I’ve cut way back on caffeine – no more coffee or soda and I’m drinking chai tea w/ vanilla soy milk at the moment. It’s nice, not nearly as nice as coffee, but it’s a big step down on the caffeine front! Today’s headache could be from lack of caffeine, or sleep, or both!
I’ve started working out again, since the pinched nerve I’ve been wary, but that’s all gone now so no more excuses. I’m starting with walking – lots of walking – and a bit of yoga and some 30 Day Challenges (The Little Black Dress and Squats & Abs specifically at the moment). Every little helps, and I’m focusing on consistency right now – not doing a lot, but doing something each day. I tend to tackle a lot all at once and then burn out, I’m not going to do that this time. I’d like to start running again, but may wait until the move. I figure walking/jogging throughout our new hometown will be a great way to get to know the place!
I’ve done my 2015 Inspiration Board and I’m working on some meal planning tools, which I am going to make available for download! I also designed my own family planner calendar for 2015 and I’ve just sent it off to the printers today. I’m excited to see it in print! So watch this space, I may be making some things available!!
Posted on | December 29, 2014 | 1 Comment
Has it really been a month? I guess I do have a habit of letting time slip away from me, especially between writing!
This year has flown by, and I’m trying to think about all the things I wanted to happen this year versus what has actually taken place. I was hoping for a vastly different year, but life takes unexpected turns sometimes and leads you down a different path.
When discussing plans for a family at the end of last year I thought this would be the year we’d do it. I am definitely more pro-baby than my somewhat-still-reluctant husband and at the start of this year when I decided we needed to move out of our “half a house” into a proper one to accomodate this imaginary family he jumped at the opportunity to put it off a little longer.
Thus started our somewhat crazy year. We quickly found a house we loved and then just as quickly decided to go for the bigger house instead. We sold our little house that was my first and, for just over 9 years in the UK, only home here. We found a rental that in the summer was fantastic, but now in the winter – when we were hoping to have already been in our new house – is cold and drafty! I’m not complaining promise, it’s just a set back. One of many this year.
So we are in our holding pattern, waiting for the day we get our keys and can move into our proper house which will be filled with babies and family and love. Lots and lots of love.
Thus my hopes and dreams for 2015 are big – just like our new home will be.
I normally take time off over Christmas & New Year to take stock and organise. I haven’t done that this year so I don’t have as much time for it as I’m used to. But I’m still thinking about what I want to do in 2015, what changes I’d like to make and how I’d like to start the year.
I haven’t done my inspiration board yet, but I will do it this week. A lot of my intentions this year revolve around keeping healthy habits and breaking some bad ones I’ve gotten back into.
- Swapping out coffee for smoothies in the morning
- Kicking my caffeine habit
- Limiting sugar
- Eating more real food, drinking less alcohol and soda
- Working out regularly NO MATTER WHAT
- Getting more fresh air
- Write more
We had a quiet Christmas and, as usual, ate too much and watched too much telly. I’m at the stage where if I have any more sweets, cake, cheese or heavy, rich foods I will be sick. I threw all our leftover turkey and gammon into the slow cooker with loads of veggies and stock last night for a good, hearty and healthy stew. I can’t wait to get home and have a nice hot bowl!
My birthday was celebrated quietly as well this year. Hubby and I spent the day together, taking care of my car (service & MOT) and going to the cinema and having a meal. It was nice and just what I wanted.
I’m thankful for a quiet December this year and hopeful that next year is drastically different in many ways.
Posted on | November 26, 2014 | No Comments
Just because I am not celebrating Thanksgiving this week doesn’t mean I am not thankful. I will admit, I wish I was in Virginia celebrating it this year, partly because they are getting snow and man, I miss me a good snow storm.
But I digress.
I believe that everyone, everywhere has something to be thankful for. Some people have more to be thankful for than others, and some much less, but for every single being on this planet there is something they are grateful to have/be/do. I also always find it a very good practice to be thankful for all my blessings when I’m down. It puts my situation into perspective. I am better off than a lot of people and rich in ways that matter most to me. This is the important lesson of giving thanks: understanding one’s wealth in life has little to do with money. (Not everyone believes that, of course, but to each their own.)
I’ve been down a lot lately and writing about that rather than the good things that happen, although at times it feels there is little good happening. So to counteract all the sadness, I’m powering through, fighting the good fight, not letting the man get me down, or what the hell ever. I’m being thankful.
What am I thankful for? you ask. Here’s my Top 10 in no particular order:
- The ability to work from home when I’m unwell and a boss understanding enough to allow me to do what I need to to take care of myself (mentally and physically). (This is particularly relevant this week!)
- Family and friends who understand some of what I go through and let me know they care about me, even when they are far, far away.
- Music that helps me cope with anything and everything.
- Books that help me escape and imagine other worlds and places.
- Having a house to live in that, while not perfect to us, is more than adequate for our actual basic needs as human beings.
- Being able to buy a brand new house and choose the luxuries to go in it.
- Being healthy enough to not require medical attention, even when dealing with bad colds.
- Having enough money not to worry about paying bills or buying food or necessities (like cold medicine!).
- My husband for infinite things, but mainly existing and being my partner.
- Strength to deal with my depression, so far without medication or doctors.
I mean when it all comes down to it, I have a nice house, more than enough clothes, food, water and money. It’s pretty easy to get swept up in material things and commercialism, especially at this time of year! I’m not immune – I’m reminding my husband almost daily that I only want one thing for my upcoming birthday and he better get it right… but in the grand scheme it’s not the most important thing is it? (No, hubby, that is NOT an out! ;))
My point is, if you can say you have a house and clothes and food and stuff, consider yourself blessed. If you have loving friends and family, consider yourself blessed. If you are healthy and able bodied, consider yourself blessed.
Happy Thanksgiving to those of you celebrating it tomorrow and Happy Thursday to those who aren’t!
Posted on | November 24, 2014 | No Comments
I thought “If I could tell her something I would tell her this
There’s only two mistakes that I have made
It’s running from the people who could love me best
And trying to fix a world that I can’t change.”
- All Our Lives by Andrew McMahon
I’m not entirely sure what I should write about, but I know I want to be writing. So this may or may not get published…
I’m still feeling frustrated. Since my last post things have escalated, we have to wait longer for the house to be done now. Unsurprising given they have never built it before anywhere, but frustrating nonetheless.
I’d love to be able to say I’m channeling all that frustration into something productive and good, but I don’t think I am. It certainly isn’t helping that since we’ve moved into this rental I’ve been ill at least 4 times that I can remember. Battling my fourth illness in as many months is not my idea of being productive. It just leads me to the question: Is my body giving up too?
Not that I’m giving up. I’m just, I don’t know… Taking time off from… Everything? Giving up certainly isn’t what I’m doing because, let’s be honest here, if I was going to give up I’d have done it a very long time ago and you wouldn’t be reading this. How macabre of me, but sometimes life is like that.
This whole situation is something I’d talk to my friend Karla about and she would be honest and open and amazing and I’d feel better because she had such a beautiful gift of making you never feel alone, even when she was 3,000 miles away. But I can’t talk to her and this is the first time since losing her that it’s hit me.
It’s not my intention to write about Karla, or what happened. At least not yet. One day I will I’m sure, but for now it’s a little too raw and very close to home for me mentally. So let’s move on, shall we?
I’ve been trying to work out regularly again, and the last two weeks I’ve done 3x a week which is better than the previous weeks. I imagine I won’t get a whole lot done this week if I can’t breathe. We’ll see how it goes.
I’m also trying to cook more. It’s only taken me what? 4 months to finally get back into cooking most of the time… But at least when I do cook it’s healthy stuff for the most part.
I’ve taken to buying clothes even though I should really stop spending money, so no more of that! I should be good now for a while though, so there’s that! Saving mode is now enabled.
One day at a time right?
Posted on | November 9, 2014 | No Comments
That’s how I feel at the moment. Everything is kind of put on hold until we get into our new house. There’s all this stuff I want to do when we get in, but I can’t do it until then.
Most of it is fun stuff – decorating, picking out furniture, designing wardrobes, some DIY projects. I spend a lot of time on Pinterest finding amazing ideas (Bedrooms, Kitchens, Shelving & Storage, General Decor… I might be obsessed.)
Other stuff, bigger life stuff will happen too, once we’re in our new home.
Which means for now I just feel… on hold. Like someone pressed pause and I’m stuck in a loop. No change, no real direction or moving forward. Just waiting. Bored. Even the holidays this year will be a very quiet affair.
That’s not the best way to feel when you’re prone to depression. Or impatience. It is useful, though, in giving me time to think about what I really want and how to achieve those goals.
There’s still about 2.5 months before the house is supposed to be ready. We don’t have a date yet, just “January”. But the roof is going on the first couple of houses, so soon we’ll be able to have a look at the layout properly, which is exciting. It’s one of the biggest unknowns at the moment, what it will actually be like inside.keep looking »