The hormones I’m taking to hopefully get rid of my cancer have a lot of side effects. Mostly I’m exhausted. All. The. Time. This isn’t new to me after fighting iron deficiency last year so I can cope. It makes my depression worse. I’ve had worst days so, again, I can cope. It makes me really moody ALL. THE. TIME. That’s a new one and difficult to deal with! All this and more!!

We spent the day out Saturday and it was really nice. Yesterday I was too tired from being out the previous day and was grumpy but managed to help sort out rearranging the office between a lie in and a nap!

Today I was super moody all day until I got home. Then I had some extra energy and managed to trim the hedge and cut the grass in our front garden.

I even had a chat with my neighbour. Told him about my cancer and he commented on how positive I was, how I was still smiling though it and how that’s really great and so important to help get me through it.

I put on a brave face for everyone else, but for me? I don’t feel so brave. I feel deflated. Part of it is the hormones, I know, but some days I just can’t help wondering what’s the point?!

And how do I feel now? I just have my nightly migraine and kinda want to cry. The normal nightly ritual these days!