Feeling lost

It’s been a while. I’m not going to say I’m back now, but I want to be. Yes, there’s a difference between those things.

I haven’t felt well for a couple months now. And for once, it’s not related to my mental health, although it’s now starting to affect it. I managed to get a diagnosis after my holiday in the States in October, iron deficiency. My levels were really, really low and so I’m on medication now to help for a few months.

While the meds do their thing I’m slowly, and I do mean very slowly, starting to feel better. And then I have days where I feel awful again. I know it will take some time, but I’ve started to feel lost. I’m definitely not myself and, sure there’s a valid reason for it, but that doesn’t make me feel better about feeling crap.

I’ve had to put everything on hold for a bit. I can’t exercise because I have zero energy. The little energy I do have tends to be used going to work, cooking, and cleaning. That’s about my limit these days and that’s taking a toll on my mental health. Especially when work is crazy busy and I struggle to keep up. It certainly doesn’t help.

I can feel it like a weight slowly dragging me down. Coupled with a desire for something I want, but am not able to have right now but am surrounded by at every turn, I’m not entirely sure what to do.

I don’t have any answers right now.