I find in incredibly difficult to be positive at times. It’s like a switch goes off and I am no longer able to function as normal. Sometimes I can see what triggers it and other times it will just hit me. Recently it feels like there is more of it – it’s happening more frequently. Some of it is just struggling with things that are going on and dealing with stress and a definite lack of happiness with some things in my life. I want to change things, but I can’t see a way out right now so I’m not sure how to proceed, which makes me spiral further.
Sometimes I can help myself to be positive. The most effective way I can do this is by putting my life into perspective in the world. I am blessed with so much.
- A husband who loves and supports me beyond measure
- A lovely home to live in
- Food to eat
- Money to buy necessities
- A whole host of comforts which are nice to have, but not must have
- A job
I am aware there are people in situations worse than mine all over the world. I’m lucky to have all the things I do. I sometimes try to tell myself it’s irrational to feel depressed, but I know that there is no rationale to depression. You can suffer from it no matter what your circumstances.
I’ve barely eaten the past two days, I don’t know if it’s from how I’m feeling – depression doesn’t normally affect my appetite in that way, I tend to comfort/emotional eat rather than lose my appetite.
July is going to be such a busy month, hopefully all the activities will keep my spirits up and I’m looking forward to everything I’m doing: Foo Fighters this weekend and London Film & Comic Con the following week, then Thorpe Park at the end of the month!
Feel like you’ve just described me!!
Hope you’re OK…big hugs! And lots of empathy!!
Make sure you still try to eat things, even if just little bits, keep your strength up.
Love you lots, always here for you xxxxxxxxx
I know you and I are a lot alike with this stuff, even though we don’t talk about it much xx
Pamela O Collier
Tish, you know I was in my 30’s when I finally went to get help with my depression. I have tried to go off medication a couple of times and I spiraled right back to square one. i still have bouts even with meds. I do all the things you have done here. Make a list and even feel quilty about being depressed because there is seemingly no outward reasons for it. You know it is a lifetime battle. I make sure I take my medication faithfully because of the way I felt so many years ago. I do not ever want to experience that again. I see my psychiatrist every 3 months. I tried to talk him into every 6, but he is a stickler!!!! And yes I had to go through several types of meds before I felt normal with one. I am only writing this because it is generic and if yours lasts longer than 2 weeks to a month it certainly would not hurt to see someone about it. Please do not wait until you are suicidal (not that you will) like I did. I would stay in my bedroom in Florida and cry all day. Then I would make myself leave the room when I knew you would be coming home from elementary school. But if only I had gotten help much earlier I could have been a much better mom to you.