I had a major mood deviation yesteday. It was brought on by work-related gossip and a migraine. I kept thinking about children – wanting them, or not as it currently stands, and my tendency for all things depressive. I realized that if I were to have a child, I would most certainly regress some and become the depressed, hiding, dependent girl I once was. This is not my only reason for not wanting children, but it’s a bigger one for the moment. I feel like everything is going on around me and I’m not involved in any of it. At least I now realize when I get this way, but it still doesn’t mean that I am motivated enough to fix it.
In completely other news, I have been reading The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins. It’s very good and not because I agree with bits of it, but because it makes you think. It is something that requires you to be either very open-minded or at the very least, not religious so as not to be incredibly offended by it.