Hubby and I are finally going on our honeymoon! We fly out Saturday night for 12 wonderful nights in Mauritius. I can’t wait to go for a myriad of reasons the biggest ones being I get to be near the ocean for a while and NO WORK!
In other news, happiness seems to be a foreign feeling to me lately (hopefully the vacation will help with that a bit!). I’m not happy at work, which could partially be due to me but is also due to a) how I am treated and b) what I actually spend my day doing. It doesn’t help that my last job was wonderful and I was totally spoiled from that experience. Am I so crazy to think that I should at least ENJOY what I spend the majority of my waking life doing each day and who I spend it with? The frustrating thing is it’s only the small group of people I sit with, I feel as though I would be happier if I was just sat next to different people, even if I was doing the same thing!
I’m also not happy in the UK as a whole. Whether it’s the people, the differences from the States, not being close to the beach or a combination of everything (probably!), I’m not sure. I love my husband so much, I was willing to go through all these changes just to be with him, and being with him is worth it it’s just everything else that adds up and I feel like I can’t be myself here and no one should ever feel that way because who are we supposed to be if not ourselves? I can’t be happy if I’m not myself and here I’m not comfortable being myself. What the hell am I supposed to do then?
I’ve also come to the conclusion that I was wrong about Americans in general. Yes, we are arrogant and there are quite a few who are asses. Generally, however, Americans are the nicest people I’ve been friends with and worked with. We tend to care if someone is included and feels welcome which I honestly say I don’t feel here in the UK. But I know there are other opinions about this and it’s only my experiences that have led me to think this.
I haven’t felt this depressed since high school/college and remembering those times that is saying quite a lot. It’s saying this is really bad.