Fake it ’til you make it

Most people have heard this phrase. It could be in relation to just about anything, too.

I have a problem with this “advice”: it doesn’t work for me.

I faked being happy for a very long time, probably longer than I even know. I knew something was wrong but just ignored it and hoped that it would one day go away. It never did. Instead, it grew into the deep depression that I have battled and suffered from for countless years.

Faking it just didn’t work. It wasn’t my fault, or anyone else’s, it was just never a solution for my “problem”.

Faking it helped to mask the issue, no one was ever aware of my depression unless I told them about it. Smiling on the outside and hiding it from everyone made it easier for them – but not easier for me.

What works best for me and my depression is being true to myself, acknowledging when I’m falling into it and taking action to keep it from going too far. A few things help with keeping my mood stable, such as regular exercise and getting enough sleep.

The most important thing that keeps me sane however, is Hubby. He helps me through anything and, even though he doesn’t understand it (I don’t either most of the time!), he is always there for me with snuggles when I need them. <3