Pandemic Lessons: Self Approval

You have been criticising yourself for years, and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.

Louise L. Hay

Yesterday I had confirmation that my furlough has been extended through June. This was of course right before the government announced they were extending the scheme four more months, through October. After July companies will be expected to contribute to the furlough payments, in hopes of starting to bring people back to work.

Of course, what actually happens depends on a lot of what the population does to continue to keep everyone safe so the virus doesn’t continue to spread. So it’s all still a waiting game.

When you get right down to it, humanity is social. It’s difficult to not be able to see people and hug your loved ones. I’m thankful that we live in an age of technology that we can look at people while we speak to them, no matter where they are in the world. I know what it was like to be lonely before this was possible and it’s something I definitely don’t take for granted even though I don’t do it often. I am an introvert!

I’m okay with being furloughed for now, but my struggles are with motivation to do anything productive for myself. I’m sure it’s something I’ve needed – a time out if you will. I’ve written out a daily schedule, which I don’t stick to at all! But it helps with specific chores – gardening, washing, etc. If I have to do them on a specific day maybe I’ll do it?

Writing and journalling is also on my schedule, but I’m doing those less than regularly. I’m lacking inspiration about what to write about (can you tell by this rambling post?). I’ve spent the last couple of weeks wallowing a little. Curling up and reading, sleeping outside of my normal routine, and just ignoring a lot of things.

This week I’ve been feeling better and a little brighter. I’m being a bit more productive. I’ve started a module for leadership and management to give me some personal development stuff to focus on, working on my websites a little bit, getting a little bit more social, playing video games and baking!

I’m listening to music again, the new Hayley Williams album, Petals for Armor, was released in full last week and it’s everything I didn’t know I needed. I love how music can give us a nudge in the right direction.

I’m still reading the Outlander series, I’m currently on book 6, A Breath of Snow and Ashes, and I’m past where the series is now, finally! I’m playing a lot of World of Warcraft and I keep thinking I’ll hook up the Wii and Nintendo Mini again so I can do some old school gaming, I’ll do it at some point.

I’m watching less television right now, which can only be a good thing for the moment and I’m getting bored with not being able to change my hair. I did give myself an undercut about a month ago, but now that I’ve mostly decided how I want the rest to be I’m going to have to wait until at least July to go to the hairdresser unless I want to cut it myself. I’ve cut my own hair plenty of times and did trim it recently but I’m not up to the challenge of doing what I want, yet. That may change in a couple of weeks mind…

I’m spending my time doing whatever I want and trying to approve of myself. I’m not giving myself a hard time for what I’m feeling or how I look and instead of working on accepting things as they are and letting my thoughts come and go, instead of holding on to them too tightly. We are all struggling in our own ways right now, be kind to yourself and approve of what you’re feeling. Feelings aren’t fact, after all.