No More

Tonight I learned something. Had a revelation of sorts.

I sometimes log my whole day of food and exercise at My Fitness Pal before the day is over, just to see what the day will look like overall. I’m probably not the only one that does this, but I find that it sometimes helps motivate me to stick to it and have a good day.

I did that this afternoon and I liked what the day looked like. It was a good day.

My food intake for the day

You notice at the bottom ‘If every day were like today…’ it is seriously telling me that if I do this every day I’ll lose a stone in 5 weeks? I certainly don’t believe that, but never mind.

I logged my workouts. I fully intended to do them when I got home.

My exercise for the day

Then… I got home.

I was tired. It felt really nice to just chill in the chair, next to the open door with the cool breeze. I let myself make the excuse that I was too tired, that it was okay for me to have a day off. I even went up to bed. I laid in bed – it was lush – and rested, read a little bit. Had resigned myself to not working out today. Let myself excuse myself for no good reason other than it felt nice to not be doing it.

Hubby rang me. He asked what I was up to. I was honest, said I hadn’t worked out, that I had been in bed. We had a quick chat about our days. He had just left work so I knew I had about an hour before he got home, plus maybe a little bit more if he stopped at the shop first.

I decided I would not excuse myself any longer from doing the things I need to do to reach my goals, to make me feel good about myself. We’ve just booked our holiday for October and if I’m going to be lying on a beach in very little then I would like to feel as good about myself as possible.

So I got up, I procrastinated a bit, and a little while later I did my two workouts. Hubby arrived home and I was 5 minutes from finishing.

I was exhausted. I was a bit sore. I was sweaty as hell. But I didn’t let myself off the hook.

So today my epiphany was this:

I know what I need to do.

I know what I need to eat.

I know how to push myself to work hard and see results.

I know what a good day looks and feels like.

I know how to make myself feel good about those decisions.

I’m not going to cheat myself anymore.